We’ve all heard about culture shock, but what about reverse
culture shock? Being a TCK (Third Culture Kid – look it up), I think I’ve dealt
with this more than I realize. In fact, I think I’ve been dealing with this for
years, but only recently have I had a name for it. One definition I found for reverse
culture shock, or re-entry, is “a common reaction to returning home from
[living] abroad. It is an emotional and psychological stage of re-adjustment,
similar to your initial adjustment to living abroad."
I’ve gotten pretty used to culture shock, to the point where
it doesn’t really “shock” me anymore, thanks to lots of traveling and experiences
living overseas. But reverse culture shock – that’s another story! It seems to
be more difficult for me than culture shock itself!
So this is for other TCKs or those who have had cross-cultural
experiences and are preparing to re-enter their passport country. Here are some
tips from my own experiences:
1. It’s going
to be okay
It may feel like your world is crumbling around you – and to an extent, it
is: the world as you have known it has literally changed overnight. You may
find yourself getting emotional at the most unexpected times – it could be a
photo, a certain scent, or something that you hear that may cause a flood of
memories to come in. It can be very overwhelming. Feeling this emotional is
normal. It’s normal to feel a little dazed and confused. You’ve gone through a
lot in a short period of time! It’s going to be okay, though.
2. Take your
time: processing does not happen overnight
It may take days, weeks, months, even years to “unpack” everything that
happened, the lessons you learned, and the experiences you had in your time
away. Don’t be in a rush to try and figure everything out. Let time take its
natural course and let things unravel at their own pace.
3. Give
yourself space
Going from one end of the world to the other in a matter of days is no small
feat. You probably will have crossed many borders, time zones, and a few oceans.
Let yourself rest. Let yourself have time and space to be alone. Give yourself
a few days to leisurely unpack and feel out your new (yet familiar)
environment.
4. Don’t worry;
you aren’t going crazy
If you feel like locking yourself in your room and shutting yourself away from
everyone for a little while, that’s pretty common. You may not even feel like
leaving your house for a little while. “Normal,” everyday routines like going
to the grocery store or walking through a mall may seem daunting at first.
Don’t worry; you haven’t suddenly turned into an antisocial hermit overnight.
This is a very normal part of the whole process. It may take a few days of rest
before you feel ready to “take on the world,” and that’s okay.
5. Life goes
on
It’s easy to assume that life as you knew it has come to a standstill.
Reality is, though, life has gone on. Relationships with family and friends
will have changed, to some degree. They will have had their own set of
experiences and you will have had yours. It’s easy to feel disconnected. Some
relationships may even feel awkward at first. It may take a little while to
“warm up” to people again. Life has gone on and everyone has changed, if only a
little bit. Invest in those important relationships and work on making new
memories together.
6. Pick up a
pen and write
Journal about what you’re going through. Reflect on the experiences you had. Write
down some of the lessons you learned while you were away and keep chewing on
them. Make sure you have some kind of outlet for the many emotions you may be
experiencing.
7. Initiate
dialogue
You are likely going to get bombarded by lots of questions from friends,
family, and acquaintances – you’re probably going to get tired of the question
“How was your trip?” At the same time, people may get tired of you constantly
making references to your time abroad and only wanting to talk about your cross-cultural experiences all the time. Initiate dialogue: ask friends how they have been and just
listen. If they ask about your experiences, feel free to share; otherwise, they may
just need you to listen.
8. Keep calm
and seek adventure
Your adventure doesn’t have to stop when you go back “home” to your
passport country. For a while, you may be tempted to believe that nothing will
ever compare to the experiences you had overseas. You may look back on your
time away and only remember the good or exciting things that happened,
forgetting the hard things. Yes, the kinds of adventures may look different
than they did in country X, but be intentional about seeking adventure or
taking risks back home. It could mean exploring a new trail or park nearby, learning
another language, or going on a spontaneous road trip. Life is an adventure, no
matter where you are in the world. It’s all about perspective.
9. Live in
the present
It’s healthy to allow yourself time to sift through memories you made while
you were away. You may spend hours just looking through photos and videos and
reliving those moments. In the early stages of transition, that’s normal.
However, there comes a point where you’ve got to face reality. And, reality is,
you’re not in country X anymore! Try to be present in every moment and
conversation. There may be certain triggers that cause you to mentally travel
back to that country or experience, but it’s important not to dwell there.
10. Connect with people who “get” you
During your experiences abroad, you are likely to have made lots of new
friends. If you travelled with a friend or group of friends, you’re also in
luck. Shoot one of them a message or get on Skype with that friend you made
overseas – they’ll understand. Find a few close friends who may have done a lot of travelling or have had
similar experiences and who know what you are going through. Talking things
through with them will help. Reach out and make friends with someone from a different culture – though the
countries may be different, chances are, they have either gone through or are
going through the same types of changes you are experiencing. Knowing there are
people who “get” you – that you aren’t alone – makes your transition a lot
easier.
I hope this helps you, my fellow globetrotters!
Keep traveling :)
-S
